Many people have a passion in their lives, whether that be their family, their lover, literature or a sport – something that gets them up in the mornings. Whether noble, admirable, healthy or not, you may have found yourself thinking that what you actually live for is whatever’s on your plate. You may not be a culinary mastermind and you may not be able to afford fine-dining, but here are ten signs that food is more important to you than anything else:
Photos stolen from my bestie emilyhoran10, follow her for more foodie pics!
Anything goes if it involves free food – Whether it’s a dull wedding, a meeting or even a religious out-reach event, if there is free food involved you’re there. You’ve even been on a date purely for the sake of the free meal out, which makes you a heartless bitch, but not a hungry one.
You’d sooner spend your money on food than anything else – Maybe the price of this meal could buy you a decent coat to last all winter, or a new dress for your birthday night out, but they simply just don’t taste as good. You have no problem keeping a shopping spree under control in Top Shop or H&M, but Tesco? That’s a whole other ball game.
You’ve caught yourself reading through a cookbook as if it were a dirty magazine – Each page turn heightens your excitement and the noises you’re making at each picture are beginning to sound like the grunts and groans of a dirty old man, and you don’t even care.
Sharing is not caring – “ooh what have you got there?” “…A Snack” “Ooh what is it?” “Some Sweet and Salty Popcorn” “Ooh what do they taste like?” “…Nice” “Can I try—?” “HEY LOOK TOP GEAR IS ON, I LOVE THIS SHOW!”
If food is involved in a ‘would you rather’ game, it’s a silly question – Having a job you hate for the rest of your life or having food you hate for the rest of your life? Never having sex or never having nice food? When will people understand that NOTHING comes before you and your food?!
Your day is just building up to dinner time – Your life is pretty much a game of ‘what’s the time Mr. Wolf?’ as we all know the only answer that really matters is when it’s dinner time.
Your ‘type’ of partner is heavily based on their relationship with food – They HAVE to accept that food will always come before them, and ideally they will be able to cook you said food. Your main bonding moments will revolve around food and they are never, ever allowed to judge the amount that you can put away.
Your social media is like a shrine to food – If your meal is anything more than beans on toast, you’re taking a picture of it. Likewise, you follow #foodporn accounts and spend hours getting excited over food you can’t even taste.
You’ve bailed on a friend for the sake of food – You may have made plans with them previously, but then this thing called dinner happened and quite frankly you just can’t make it anymore. Food cannot be rushed, it needs to be respected, real people can wait.
Food on the telly may as well be in your mouth – If you got your first choice it’d be the Bake Off or Masterchef, but there is never any need to despair as the Food Network channel is always waiting for you. Some people like comedies, some like period dramas, you just like food.